i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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