yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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