I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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