That's intense
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
