I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
