omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We just shotgunned beers for America
What a dumb baby whore.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
