well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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