and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize