This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
