I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
