Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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