This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
