How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
