Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
