lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize