She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
