guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
