Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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