I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if only i could text you this smell
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
