So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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