Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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