Im at strip club and am horny
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
