actually, I'm a sock model
You're my little dorito
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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