i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
