it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
