i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
