she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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