how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dear god my vagina.
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