Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize