She announced her abortion via fbk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I touched a dick in church today
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
