You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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