i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
