Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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