ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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