I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
