i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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