i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My pussy is not your playground.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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