just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
