this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Randomize
