How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize