I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
