We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
