You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
