i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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