Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
