I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
