You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
