you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
did you just send me my own nude
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
