The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
home. puking in laundry basket.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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