Little spoons don't ask big questions
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
