So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
why do cheetos always look like penises
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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