She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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