you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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