Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
