I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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