Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
