yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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