You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
