even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
