I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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