I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
