Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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