I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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