i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
