I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize