i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There's always time for handjobs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
