All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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