I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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