end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
