Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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