Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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