i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We have started to decorate penises.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
